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Deciding what to give someone for a present shouldn’t feel like a life or death situation. But this challenge can be overcome, and even enjoyed, by remembering that presents are just a booster
One day, I received a present from my younger sister. Usually, I love presents, but when I looked at her present, I noticed that it was a bottle. A bottle of skin conditioner. For the men in the audience, skin conditioner is a kind of cream. A cream for fixing…wrinkles around your eyes. On top of that, when she handed it to me, she said, “Please take care of your skin condition!”
I was so shocked! As soon as I received that wrinkle cream from her, I started worrying about my wrinkles. And now, I massage my face every day! Do you really think that is the kind of reaction that my sister had in mind when she gave me a present?
I think that the best presents should be boosters! My dictionary says that the meaning of “booster” is: “something that helps someone be more confident or less worried.” Well, let’s look at this situation a little more carefully.
When you want to say “thank you” to a friend, of course you could just say “thank you,” directly with words. Since you have a good relationship with your friend, expressing your thanks in words is a positive, and easy thing to do. However, some situations in life are not so simple.
For example, when your female friend has to move out to another city because she is getting married. You’ve got mixed feelings. You are both happy, and sad, at the same time. You want to congratulate her on her marriage! But naturally, you will miss her a lot too! So how should you express your feelings to her? Communicating a complex message to someone indirectly is a big challenge.
Actually, people have a tendency to take everything too seriously when they give someone a present. Also, they often are afraid that their presents won’t be appreciated. In other words, deciding what to give someone for a present shouldn’t feel like a life or death situation. It’s all in your head! But this challenge can be overcome, and even enjoyed, by remembering that presents should just be a booster. It isn’t the most important thing. That’s right! Your message itself has top priority! And, when you combine your message with a thoughtful present, you can communicate your message more effectively.
What’s more, when your message is incorporated into the present itself, your message can remain in the mind of the receiver for a longer period of time. That’s because they can see your present often after receiving it, and when they see it, they can remember the situation and feeling when they received it.
Well, how can we enjoy giving a present to someone, and how can we make sure that they’ll also enjoy our present? You still remember my wrinkle cream nightmare, right? Let me give you two more examples of presents I’ve received in the past.
One day, I received a box of golf balls from my German business partner. Just was just a gift, there was no special occasion. Probably he just wanted to talk about golf using the golf balls as a trigger. But honestly, I’m not interested in golf at all. So, when I received the golf balls, which I really didn’t want, I said, “Thank you for your present. It must have been difficult to carry this heavy box of golf balls all the way here to Japan from Germany.” As soon as I said that, there was an long and awkward silence between us…
Did my German associate intend for his own gift to backfire? Of course not! But from my point of view, his “gift” of golf balls seemed to be a gift mostly for himself, so that he could talk about golf, his hobby, with me. So in the end, was his gift generous, or simply selfish? Anyway, I didn’t feel good about it, and that caused me to have mixed feelings, and make an awkward commend. And that means that his message wasn’t clearly communicated.
Now let’s look at an ideal example of a good present. When I moved out of my family home and started living on my own, my mother gave me a red quilt that she made by hand. What was the meaning behind this gift? My mother probably wanted to encourage me, and at the same time tell me that she would miss me. In other words, it helped her to express her very complex emotions.
When I received her gift, I understood just how much she had been thinking about me. She had designed and made this red quilt. I am sure she put a lot of time, and even more love, into it. Now, every time I see her red quilt, or even think about it, I feel really encouraged. It is by far my favorite present that I have ever received.
I’m sure everyone here has their own story about giving and receiving presents!
Next, let’s think about the process of giving a present. It can be divided into two parts. The first part is selecting a present. And the second part is actually giving the present to the receiver. Let’s examine both parts in some detail.
The first part, selecting, consists of three steps. The first step is to clarify your message. What exactly do you want to say? The second step is to think carefully about the image of the person who will receive your message. Here it’s important to think carefully, and consider many different aspects of the receiver.
For example, you should think about the receiver’s hobbies, style, dreams, daily life, desires, interests, etc. Anything is OK, as long as you think carefully about their image.
Third step is to connect the receiver’s image with your message. However, don’t take this step too seriously! For example, if the receiver likes reading books, and you want to give them a positive message, you can connect books with some positive color, for example, orange. So, then you can select an orange bookmarker for the receiver.
Additionally, if you wish to avoid confusing the receiver, I advise you to select something funny, or surprising. When the receiver opens your present, the receiver should feel some pleasantly unexpected emotion. This is one way to measure the success of a present. Something funny or something that gives a nice surprise always has a positive effect. OK!
So selecting a present has three steps: clarifying, thinking carefully about their image, and connecting the image to the gift, and optionally, adding something surprising. If you follow these three steps, you will feel confident that the present you’ve selected is good.
But what about the next part, actually giving your present to someone? Giving your present to someone is simple. Just give your present to them and share your story. What is your story? Well, you should directly talk about the selection processes, and then tell them your special message!
So, by carefully selecting, and giving your present in the right way, your present will always be perfect. I want everyone here to try and start using presents as boosters from tomorrow! Please try to follow my suggestions on Father’s day, or on your friend’s next birthday, or at a welcome party for someone!
They’ll never forget it! Remember, the best presents are boosters!
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Mayflower英語教室
週末は英語漬け!
http://msoe.jp/
